Castiel's Guide to Human Life For Angels
by Katari Michelos
Summary: Castiel has made a list in an effort to make sense of human life and behaviour. This should be interesting.
1. Chapter 1

CASTIEL's GUIDE TO HUMAN LIFE FOR ANGELS

(As edited By Dean and Sam Winchester)

Disclaim: If I owned Supernatural, there would be waaay more Destiel. Since I do not, there is far less Destiel than I would like.

A "Fangirl" is not a girl with a fan, no matter what it sounds like.

While we do not need to consume food or drink, I personally recommend drinking a drink known by humans as 'Coffee". Humans seem fond of it in the mornings. ( _Yes, but you keep drinking 8 cups of Espresso a day, dude! Coffee is expensive!-Dean)_

When around humans, it is unwise to refer to them by the following terms: mud-monkeys, hairless apes, wahoos, vessels, etc. It is both highly offensive and demeaning.

A reminder: Angel wings appear in our shadow no matter what vessel we take. Come up with an appropriate excuse if necessary to explain why the wings appear should the human not accept your true existence as an angel of the Lord.

If a human chooses to shorten your true name, however unpleasant that nickname may be, let them. ( _I was drunk, Cas!-Sam.)(_ _Yeah, and you called him Cassie. He's not a girl!-Dean)_

When at all possible, choose a human name instead. It attracts less attention.

And THAT's a wrap, folks! Chapter 2 will be up next week, once I find more scenarios. Please review with any comments or suggestions for possible topics.


	2. Chapter 2

CASTIEL'S GUIDE TO HUMANS FOR ANGELS

(As edited by Dean and Sam Winchester)

Disclaimer: I don't own Supernatural. I also don't own the song references in this Chapter.

7\. As far as I am aware, Lucifer is currently not present in the state known as Georgia. Please refrain from believing those who say he is. _(Cas got confused while listening to the radio-Lucifer is still in the Cage as far as me and Dean know.-Sam)_

8\. Humans have a device known as a 'radio' that plays something called 'music'. As far as I am aware, this device does not go "googoo" or "gaga".

9\. The Seven Seas of Rhye are a fictional creation and do not exist in real life. I have searched for them, and been unable to find them. _(Ok, remind me why we let Castiel listen to a radio marathon?-Sam?) (Because that was the only thing good on, Sammy.-Dean)_

10\. Humans seem to have developed the idea that we angels carry shotguns as weapons to defend them. We have not in any way aided in the making of shotguns, as far as I'm aware. ( _Then who helped Samuel Colt?-Dean)_

11\. Humans have created something called an internet. As far as I am aware, it does not exist solely to watch what Dean calls "porn". _(DEAN!- Sam.) (What? That's what I use it for, Sammy. Why can't Cas do the same?- Dean.)_

12\. Despite what Dean and Sam keep claiming, as far as I am aware, saying "Carry on my wayward son, there'll be peace when you are done," does not have an omen of doom attached to it. _(Then why is it every time we hear that, something shitty happens to us?-Dean.)_

A/N: And that's Chapter 2, people! I'd appreciate a review, since I know people are looking at this thing, but not reviewing. Also, anyone who knows where I got the second to last song from gets a free cookie.


	3. Chapter 3

Castiel's Guide to Human Life for Angels

(As Edited by Dean and Sam Winchester)

13\. When going to a state fair to hunt a demon disguised as a food vendor, ensure that you observe the following human customs: Getting a ticket to enter the fair, parking a reasonable distance away from the fair, and not cursing at the bus driver whom drives you from the parking lot to the Fairs entrance. _(Not my fault they wouldn't let me park Baby closer to the entrance!-Dean)_

14\. When at above mentioned state fair, it would be wise to avoid questioning human eating habits and forms of entertainment, such as carving a portrait of another human from butter, and eating 48 chocolate chip cookies in a row, followed by an entire apple pie. _(The demon might've been a baker!-Dean) (Riiight…-Sam)_

15\. Related to the above: If a state fair has a haunted house, do not proceed to criticize everything about said attraction loud enough for the actors who are dressing up as monsters to hear. _(But that was the least scary vampire I've ever seen, Cas!-Dean)_

16\. Do not use your grace to produce money directly in front of humans. Humans tend to act rather…odd about such displays. _(Yeah, for several very good reasons.-Sam)_

17\. When locating a demon at a state fair, ensure that you can at least clear the surrounding area of people before going after it with your weapon. _(Didn't really think that one through, huh Sammy?-Dean) (No, no we really didn't.-Sam)_

18\. Do not kill supernatural creatures at state fairs. Humans do not appreciate it when you kill such things in the vicinity of large amounts of people. _(Thank God for teleportation, or we'd be in jail now.-Dean) (Uh, Dean, how are we supposed to get Baby back if we're in another state away from it?-Sam)_

A/N: *whistles innocently* I had school. That's the only reason this isn't up sooner. As always, suggestions and reviews are welcome. Oh, and all but number 15 are more or less actual things that have happened to me at state fairs.


End file.
